Comeback kid.

I don't know if it's multiple personality syndrome or me just being generally crazy. I don't particularly like being myself. I mean, maybe I would, if I knew who that was. Who is Alexandra? I don't know. Maybe she's just an amalgamation of everyone else, like a human quilt. There's some kinda quote that goes like that. I don't remember who said it though.

To some I am a meek, shy child. I rarely speak but I laugh at everything (sometimes, too much). To some I am a loudmouthed bitch, taking every opportunity I can to draw attention to myself (like my English III class junior year...I think I alienated some people). To some I'm an unfortunate-looking little thing that fucks equally homely dudes (which is untrue, but because I hang around a certain boy people think he's my boyfriend. Don't you hate that?). To some I am a genius, a prodigy, an anomaly.

I don't know for certain. I like to think of myself as a celebrity, in my own mind, anyway. Lady Gaga put it pretty well. You can feel famous, without being famous. There is fame, which is fake and plastic. The money, press, cameras, etc. Then there's a different kind of fame. The kind of fame where people see you and think, "who's that girl?". That kind of fame. I like that. That's probably why I love her.

Enough of that though. This is turning into another kind of whirlwind of thoughts that not even I can comprehend right now.

I have been listening to nothing but Silversun Pickups lately. Well, throwing in Spice Girls/Lady Gaga/Franz Ferdinand for good measure, but 98% of the time, Silversun Pickups. Brian has such a unique voice. I love uniqueness. The way you dress, the way you speak, the way you sing. Shirley Manson said something like this in Rolling Stone. "You hear them and you immediately know it's them." She said that about SSPU. And she was correct. One thing I love about SSPU is the kind of images they create in their music (not just lyrics, either). When I listen to SSPU (and most of any other artist for that matter), I'm imagining little films or music videos in my head. I've come up with a few neat ones. Nothing I'm sharing. But I love that. A song can mean anything to anyone. I used to want to cry uncontrollably listening to the Spice Girls' "Viva Forever". Don't know why. I found it so sad for some reason. But music invokes feeling. Music invokes creativity. Music invokes inspiration.

And now I'm inspired to end this entry. For now.

xoxo