the process of resetting passwords is a long tedious one indeed.

How many links do I have to click just to get my damn password? What a joke. Okay, here's an e-mail, click the link, that sends you another e-mail with a link in it. Gawd.

I have a strange feeling people think I'm creepy. I don't try to be, honestly. If that's how I come across then I'm sorry. I'm sorry that you are so narrow-minded that you can't get to know someone before you jump to conclusions. Yeah, I am looking at certain people. That chick who gave me a dirty look at Brandon's birthday party. Most of my musical theatre class (except maybe Ashlee and Jamie). Yeah, certain people.

I have such a fucking headache. Not gonna lie. My sister always gets headaches but now they've been linked to some sort of condition she has in her jaw. I forgot what it was but that is what we think is giving her chronic headaches. We think.

Michael Jackson. I was never really a huge fan of him, honestly. But when I think about it, he certainly did pave the way for a lot of the artists I admire. I speak mostly of the long-form music video. Thriller. That wasn't a music video. It was a short film. Since then, Green Day and Lady Gaga have been releasing videos of the sort ("Wake Me Up When September Ends" and "Paparazzi" respectively). I think it was Michael who made that all possible. Music videos were not art until Thriller. Plus that red jacket is the stuff of legend. When you put that into perspective, that is what makes the loss of Michael Jackson so tragic. Looking past all the weirdness. Looking past the Elephant Man, the oxygen chamber, Macaulay Culkin (sp?), his molestation charges, the controversy. Looking at him for what he was. As an musician, an artist, an innovator, a humanitarian. Don't judge a book by its cover. Wasn't I talking about that earlier?



Dear Michiru Kaiou: Let me have your hair. Thanks. Love, Alex.

I'm a good girl. I just like to associate myself with the villains.

So apparently Millionaires spoofed Audrey Kitching in their video...hahaha. If you're gonna spoof something, spoof it well. That just wasn't funny...at all. You get a girl in a cheap pink wig, septum, and two moles, singing some line of the song, that's not funny. That's just pointless. Kind of like the band.

Someone wanna tell me why the Silversun Pickups video I got from Youtube doesn't play on my iPod? It's an MP4 video, just like all my Sailor Moon videos. Which are on my iPod. But this SSPU video doesn't even transfer. It's wacky. I can't begin to figure it out. I need this. If it were on the iTunes store it'd be mine already, but they don't have it (yet?).

Sleep is imminent. I should get in the habit of going to bed earlier.

xoxo

I dropped my dolly in the dirt.

I hate letting people down. My friend asked me if I could take in a dog for a month or two because she's going to college and she can't have him there. I'd been trying to find a solution to the problem but the parents said, "No, he'd be too much to handle" la di da. So the answer was no, and now she has to sell the dog. I feel like shit. I wish I could've helped. I love puppies. But as long as that dog isn't on the street or something, I guess he'll be okay. Sorry KT, I tried.

Onto happier things. For one I've started decorating and such and such. Well, redecorating. I think what's going to happen is
1) I'm going to clean off my dresser and nighttable. It's needed. My dresser is turning into a volcano.
2) I'm taking down and replacing a bunch of posters. These are mostly band posters, a lot of which were really cheap and came out of magazines. I took down my Underoath poster last night and replaced it with a piece of "art" that I did (and by "art", I mean I took a frozen food box, painted it black, and glued a picture of Gwen Stefani on it, and on top of that, taped a little speech bubble of her saying, "Sometimes you have to sacrifice performance for high heels"). I'm going to be taking down a lot of things and possibly replacing them with new things. Don't know what exactly yet. I know for sure what I'm keeping though. All my ticket stubs. The piano chords poster (my mom says I have to, if I want to learn my chords for church). The Titanic poster. The Secret Garden poster. The Hawthorne Heights tour poster from last year. The Keane tour poster. Everything else is up in the air.
3) I need a vanity table. This will make life easier for me and my habit of putting makeup on for every occasion. I may just take my mom's table and she gets a new one.
4) I'm getting all these fucking stars off my wall. It's not 1998 and I'm not an eight-year-old Tiger Beat reader.
5) Possibly painting. I have to get everything out from underneath all the furniture first.
6) Vacuuming. That would probably be in my immediate future. First to get the booger downstairs.

Year One looks really good. Kind of.

xoxo

kick out the jamzzzzz

So I'm addicted to Coke. Coca-Cola, that is. Thought that was worth mentioning.

I thought a lot more about this church trip I'm supposed to be taking in July. I've been thinking, maybe it will be good for me. Brandon came back from Haiti on Sunday no different than he was before he left. Still a money-grubbing douchebag, only this time with a buzz cut instead of a pseudo-scene mop. Yeah, ok. I think I need to think more about other people. I'm really bad about that. Maybe it's time to start over.

Maybe it's not.

I almost registered for college today, until I found out that you do that online. Hey there stupid.

I cleaned my room last night. Well, it's not perfect. It never will be. But I can walk through it now. Or, I can pass out after an intense Lady Gaga dance session. That happened. Two songs and I was done. I got really exhausted after LoveGame, but once I got into Starstruck I was on the floor, and it wasn't the dance floor. It sucked. Way to fail.

I couldn't help but notice Silversun Pickups has the #1 modern rock song in the country this week with "Panic Switch". Great for the guys/girl. If you haven't noticed, I'm kind of obsessed with them. And Coca-Cola. And things like this:

Don't ask, just assume. It's what people do best I guess.

xoxo

Comeback kid.

I don't know if it's multiple personality syndrome or me just being generally crazy. I don't particularly like being myself. I mean, maybe I would, if I knew who that was. Who is Alexandra? I don't know. Maybe she's just an amalgamation of everyone else, like a human quilt. There's some kinda quote that goes like that. I don't remember who said it though.

To some I am a meek, shy child. I rarely speak but I laugh at everything (sometimes, too much). To some I am a loudmouthed bitch, taking every opportunity I can to draw attention to myself (like my English III class junior year...I think I alienated some people). To some I'm an unfortunate-looking little thing that fucks equally homely dudes (which is untrue, but because I hang around a certain boy people think he's my boyfriend. Don't you hate that?). To some I am a genius, a prodigy, an anomaly.

I don't know for certain. I like to think of myself as a celebrity, in my own mind, anyway. Lady Gaga put it pretty well. You can feel famous, without being famous. There is fame, which is fake and plastic. The money, press, cameras, etc. Then there's a different kind of fame. The kind of fame where people see you and think, "who's that girl?". That kind of fame. I like that. That's probably why I love her.

Enough of that though. This is turning into another kind of whirlwind of thoughts that not even I can comprehend right now.

I have been listening to nothing but Silversun Pickups lately. Well, throwing in Spice Girls/Lady Gaga/Franz Ferdinand for good measure, but 98% of the time, Silversun Pickups. Brian has such a unique voice. I love uniqueness. The way you dress, the way you speak, the way you sing. Shirley Manson said something like this in Rolling Stone. "You hear them and you immediately know it's them." She said that about SSPU. And she was correct. One thing I love about SSPU is the kind of images they create in their music (not just lyrics, either). When I listen to SSPU (and most of any other artist for that matter), I'm imagining little films or music videos in my head. I've come up with a few neat ones. Nothing I'm sharing. But I love that. A song can mean anything to anyone. I used to want to cry uncontrollably listening to the Spice Girls' "Viva Forever". Don't know why. I found it so sad for some reason. But music invokes feeling. Music invokes creativity. Music invokes inspiration.

And now I'm inspired to end this entry. For now.

xoxo

Gotta get that

Forrest Gump said that his mom said that life is like a box of chocolates. You never know what you're gonna get.

But I usually know what's in those boxes of chocolates. Milk chocolate, dark chocolate, caramel, those gross strawberry or orange filled ones, and maybe the occasional cordial cherry.

Point: I'm gonna be forced to do some stuff that I really don't want to do, really really soon.

1. ACT. Tomorrow morning. I hate standardized testing. I graduated in May. I should be over this. But no, I didn't register for my ACT during school (something always got in the way, such as rehearsals, or complacency, mostly it was the latter), so now I have to take it in the summer. aka tomorrow. And if I don't score well on my math I have to take an extra math course in college. As they say, FML.

2. Church trip. I told my youth leaders about 147,000 times (I counted) that I would not, not, not, NOT be going on this trip. Basically it's a whole week in Cleveland, TN (not Ohio as I thought. I remember I used to tell my teachers my dad worked in Australia before I realized that there was more than one Melbourne in the world) doing churchy stuff. A whole week of allergy nightmares. Mississippi? That damn cat. Washington? Woke up at 4am unable to breathe. Miami? Almost the same thing. A week in Tennessee? God knows what. Also, I have a terrible feeling that my friend Devonne's Sea World trip is going to fall within that week. That's my luck. So I won't have a chance to see her before she leaves for college in Chicago. I should call her...again...I owe her a T-shirt.

3. Vaccines and shit. My mom keeps telling me I have to get my HPV vaccine. Now, I know it's supposed to be ~helpful~ and all that jazz but I've read stuff about it. Audrey Kitching? Got two of them, I think. Turns out she got metal poisoning from all the aluminum and sodium and etc in it. She posted a whole blog about it. That left me scared and I kinda hoped my mom would forget but no, she brought it up today. I told her about what I read. I know what some of you are saying, "Alex, don't listen to the stupid scene queen. She's nothing more than an internet celebrity trying to scare you." Uh, it's happened to other people, too, nutsack. Do your research. So any excuse I can use to get out of it? That'd be great. Because knowing my luck, I'm gonna be one of those people who get sick from it.

Speaking of my luck. Went to the bowling alley today with the brat and his friend. They have an arcade, and inside said arcade, there is a Deal or No Deal game. You know how you pick the case at the beginning? Turns out the case I picked as my personal case was worth 200 tickets, the most you can get. What'd I do? I dealt for 45 tickets because we were running short on time. So, FML again.

Life just rules.

xoxo

Welcome.

wel-come. adj.
admitted gladly: received, especially into somebody's home, or entertained gladly
- eagerly and delightedly accepted: accepted or anticipated with delight and eagerness, often because it answers a need
- freely invited or permitted: freely and willingly invited or permitted

I won the spelling bee in sixth grade and all I got was a lousy dictionary.

Hello, hello. My name is Alexandra. I am:
-a professional procrastinator
-a comic book villain in the form of beauty queen
-a glamorous glutton
-a vogue vandal
-a trend whore
-a trend destroyer (yeah, I can multitask too)
-a diva of the stage and screen. the computer screen.
-a fangirl for everything
-your new nuisance
-all of the above

I'd go and do one of those ice breaky things but I'm afraid my ice pick has gone dull. Once I've sharpened it I'll go ahead with that. In the meantime, stalk me.

http://myspace.com/daylightxxdancer
http://twitter.com/doctordollface
http://chasingstars.buzznet.com

and if you want to taste my ear candy:
http://myspace.com/azaleafl

Good (insert point in time here).

xoxo